The Properly Vaporizer Storz & Bickel’s $1000 April Fool’s Joke

People have been asking for quite some time. When is Storz & Bickel releasing a new vaporizer ? Well that wait is finally over. We at To the Cloud Vapor Store are super excited to announce the newest vaporizer by  Storz & Bickel –  the Properly.

We recently had the chance to try out the Properly ourselves and were blown away by Storz & Bickel’s latest release. While many thought Storz & Bickel were going to roll out a more compact portable vaporizer to take out the PAX 3, following up on their blockbuster 2014 release of the Crafty and the Mighty, they went the totally opposite direction with a desktop vaporizer which comes in a classic and a digital version.

The Properly comes with the vaporizer base (heating unit)  a Properly valve filling chamber and a cooling unit. It retails for $999.00 which is a bit on the steep side, but Storz & Bickel have pointed out that you will be saving so much money on not having to buy $15 bags like with the Volcano. At To the Cloud our actuary’s  most modest calculations estimated the average user of the new vaporizer will save upwards of $73,000 a year by not having to buy bags like with the easy valve set up.

The warranty is another interesting change of pace for Storz & Bickel’s new arrival. The company said warranties will be issued via a blind lottery meaning a few Properly vapes will come with a lifetime warranty , some with a 5 year , some with a 9 day warranty and even others will come with no warranty whatsoever. “You will not know what kind of warranty you get until your Properly vaporizer is delivered.  We think the most efficient and fair way to distribute the warranty for the Properly is to just spin the wheel and assign that vaporizer that warranty”, said Markus Storz.

The Properly operates by placing your herb in the filling chamber and placing that atop your Properly unit once heated to your desired temperature. You can either draw from the properly by itself or hit the Properly’s forced air button and to assist your draw.  It is a true game changer for vaporizer technology and it is no surprise it was brought to us by Storz & Bickel. Personally I did not expect to see a vaporizer this good released for another 100 years.

The Properly still remains in pre-production with July 17th, 2018 as the official release date for the Properly vaporizer. Storz & Bickel chose the release date to coincide with David Hasselhoff’s 66th  Birthday. “Clearly the Hoff has been a huge inspiration to Germany and it reflects in our vaporizers” , quoted Jürgen Bickel. “It is great to pay homage to David with our latest release”, he added.

Fictional Cannabis influencers Dank and Dabby have stated that the Properly vaporizer is the best vaporizer they have ever f*ckin used man, citing it’s ass kicking vapor. Dank elaborated saying “ It gets me so lit” while Dabby giggled in the background. But not everyone is as excited about Storz & Bickel’s new vaporizer. Many are saying it is just a Volcano base with a Plenty whip instead of a bag and the $999 price point is insane. Others have pointed out you are just better off buying a Digital Volcano for $599 and a Plenty Vaporizer at $249. Many are also critical how the Properly Vaporizer doesn’t even come with original packaging or instructions and accessories which are included are chosen at random “ I don’t get their new vaporizer, it seems lazy and like a really bad April Fools’ joke. The base even says Volcano, it’s clearly just a Volcano with a Plenty whip” exclaimed Stefanie Rodriguez a random friend of mine who was over when we were testing the new S&B vaporizer out.

Regardless if Storz & Bickel’s new vaporizer is just one big April Fools’ joke or not it is nice to see them coming up with something new. “Their vaporizers are great , the best around. We have been waiting here outside the factory in Tuttlingen since the 2014 release of the Mighty and Crafty wanting and waiting for the German vapor gods to bestow upon us their next invention” said Steve “Stevie” Stevenson who is head of Dampf Fanatiker a non-partisan cult of vapor enthusiasts who have migrated to the industrial German town to wait outside the Storz & Bickel headquarters to be the first to be in the know concerning news and new releases from the vapor gods.

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